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Woman sitting inside a car.
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“AITA for refusing to be my mom’s free chauffeur when she won’t even Uber out of convenience?”
"My mom is going out of town for 3 months and I’m trying to figure out if I’m being difficult or this is a fair boundary to set. She lives about 30 minutes away from me in the opposite direction of the airport. I’m closer to the airport, which is about 20 minutes away from me.
Her plan is to drive her car to my place, have me drive her to the airport (20 min there), then I go back home and drive her car all the way back to her house (50 minutes from airport>my place to get her car>to her house), and then I’d have to figure out a ride back home (30 minutes back) which is difficult because my bf works a night shift that day.
So overall, I’d be doing a lot of extra driving and it would take a big chunk out of my day."
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Interior of airport station.
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"I asked her if she could just Uber to my house instead and I would take her directly to the airport, because it would save me a lot of time and gas driving all over. It’s also finals week for me so I’m already stressed and busy.
Now she’s guilt tripping me and saying she can’t afford an Uber that far away… but at the same time, her plan has me driving all over and I’m going out of my way twice to do her a favor that could be done easier.
Personally, when I ask a favor from someone I try to make it as easy as possible for them since they’re going out of THEIR way to help ME.
On top of that, I never asked her for favors, and if I do, she ends up making me feel like I’m taking advantage of her or being ungrateful. When I was younger before I could drive, whenever I’d ask for a ride to my friends house she’d say “I’m not your taxi driver, if you want to hang out with them find a way yourself”."
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"So, this whole situation feels very frustrating and one-sided.
I’m not refusing to help her at all, in fact i’m going out of my way to find other solutions TO help her.
Am I being unreasonable for setting this boundary? Or should I just s*ck it up and do it?"
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Car with Uber sign driving on city road
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Clearly, there is a firm boundary needed to be set with Mom here, to keep her from demanding favors of her daughter that turn her into her mom's personal assistant.
The daughter needs to be firm with her mom, as uncomfortable as it might be for them both, and tell her exactly what she is willing to do for her, and where lies the line that she will not cross whatsoever.
Can the daughter do that?
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IamIrene:
"NTA. You can just tell her "no". It's finals week and no one gets to mess with that, lol.
Don't let her guilt tripping affect you, especially if you just aren't up to doing this for her. Consider that consenting to doing this will bring more "requests" of this nature down the line because "well you didn't have a problem doing it last time!"
Boundary now, peace after that.
Why doesn't she just leave her car at your place? She's going to need a ride back home when she returns, right? Is she expecting you to just drive her?'
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Woman driving a car.
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ConflictGullible392:
"NTA. She can uber to your place or she can leave her car at your place. Expecting you to pay for an uber so that she doesn’t have to pay for an uber when you’re the one doing her a favor is not reasonable."
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Disastrous-Clue2511:
“Why can't she just leave her car at your house and drive herself home when she gets back?”
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